Friday, July 14, 2006

Keeper of the Snails

Clare Dudman has a delightful essay here: Keeper of the Snails about her day in London today. What a contrast to my own day!

Clare, here's how my day went...We had breakfast while waiting for a car repair. Back to the 'shop' an hour and a half later and the car wasn't ready, so we trudged fifteen blocks to buy one large, shiny bolt. I was troubled by sore heels so we stopped briefly at a local shopping mall to sit down for a minute. No sooner were we seated than I spotted a suspicious-looking yellow puddle nearby. We left quickly. We then hobbled six blocks to a store called Xcess Cargo and looked at cheap garage-sale-type items. We gathered a few of the cheap garage-sale-type items and entered a long lineup with other discriminating shoppers. Husband looked at his watch and suddenly remembered that he had a chiropractor appointment. We hastily returned our selections to the shelf and hot-footed back to the car repair shop. The car was out on a 'test drive', so we borrowed the shop car - a giant grey dusty Ford - and sped to the chiropractor's office. I waited in the car and admired: a fat man wearing a t-shirt that proclaimed "Proud to be a Croat" walking with three mangey rat-dogs; two steriod-enhanced workmen loading a truck with circular saws; a little car that somehow discharged seven Chinese who all stopped and stared at the saws; a dog wearing the obligatory leash, but with no owner attached. Two more dogs arrived and much sniffing ensued. A lady then appeared, following an Irish Setter...the Setter 'set'. And now the most exciting part of my day!!! I've never seen this before...the lady wiped the dog's bottom!

How does your day stack up to that, Clare?!


At 10:59 AM, Anonymous clare said...

When young my son had a saying whenever he encountered brussel sprouts on his plate 'I feel sick over that.' And I have to say the thought of wiping a dog's backside is making this reader just slightly nauseous. The suspicious yellow puddle was a little bit gross too.

Actually I'm grinning as I write this. It is pretty funny. There you are innocently going about your business and all this happens...It's enough to make you think twice about going through the front door.

Thank you Susan. These exciting days make very good stories.

At 12:47 AM, Blogger Minx said...

Susan, most people wander through life and never NOTICE these things! How can you not have had an interesting day with all these 'life nibbles' in your pocket?

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Maxine said...

Yes, I agree, a very sweet observational essay. But as I said, Susan, that email address -- asking for trouble!

At 3:21 PM, Blogger Susan said...

It's not up to much at all as essays go, but I thought it was an amusing contrast to Clare's lovely, civilized day. I suppose you're right, too, Maxine - one could only expect this kind of thing with an e-mail address like mine!

At 1:09 PM, Blogger Maxine said...

I'm still waiting for the story of how you acquired it (that email address) to appear on your blog, Susan. My theory is that one of your sons set it up for you when in that "young boy scatalogical phase" -- you know, when some seven year old lad shouts "poo!" and cracks up with the hilarity of it.

At 7:57 PM, Blogger Susan said...

I'm afraid I can't blame anyone else - I am the pre-adolescent who chose the address. It started out innocently enough - I wanted to sign up for emails from a site called Flylady which is a housecleaning/organizing adviser. I tried using my own name; it was taken. Then I tried what must have been a hundred other names and EVERYTHING was 'already taken'. In exasperation I typed 'ankledeepinpoop' and was even a little surprised when it was accepted. My sons are much more civilized than I because they're quite horrified by the address. I'm starting to kind of like it myself. After all, it's very easy to remember and no-one ever needs it repeated! I have three other respectable e-mail addresses but I seldom remember to check them for mail.


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